Scottish Fetish Vegan Scones (with a Light Currant)

One of many exports that gives me a kick.

Certain Anglo accents have the power to spawn whole fetishes unto themselves. Some people find posh English accents a huge aphrodisiac; others get hot and bothered over a broad-voweled outback drawl. For my part, I could turn James McAvoy reading the terms and conditions of my operating system into an entire sexual orientation. And don’t even get me started on all the ways I’d love to play Doctor with the sparky David “Tenn-inch,” whose natural cadences could trigger ASMR in a Dalek. Internet wags have pointed out that ThIs fOnT is hOw scOTs tALk, and I can’t really argue. It’s not just the sexy burr, though – it’s the attitude. A certain raucous playfulness and swagger that’s the antithesis of stuffy. You anticipate a romp with the lads – stiff in all the best ways, but not the upper lip.

When a vegan friend leaving town gifted me with the contents of her pantry, I was tickled to find that I had all the ingredients on hand to make plant-based scones. ScONNes, that is – ostensibly named after the Stone of Destiny (as legend would have it), coronation site of Scottish kings. So here’s one more way to feed your Scottish fetish, along with any tasty Scots (or role players thereof) who might be getting you and/or your imagination all tingly. I’ve added a wEE bIT of cUrranT just to turn things up a notch.

I confess it took me a few tries to get the proper proportions (along with abandoning the use of almond flour) since I’m at an elevation, so just consider this the Scottish Highlands edition. (You could probably eliminate the baking soda and lower the oven temp at sea level – I’ve seen other recipes bake at 400.)

Makes 8 scones.

Ingredients

  • 2 cups all-purpose or 1-to-1 gluten free flour
  • 2 tsp baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp baking soda
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 3-4 T coconut sugar, depending on how sweet you prefer (coconut sugar is less sweet than regular sugar; I used 4)
  • 1/2 cup (8 T) white kernel coconut oil*, solid like butter, scooped out in tablespoons
  • 1 T flaxseed meal plus 3 T water
  • 3/4 cup almond or other plant milk
  • 1 T apple cider vinegar
  • 1/4 cup currants

Mix your flax-and-water flaxseed “egg” in a small bowl and set aside to let gel. Preheat oven to 425. Whisk the first five dry ingredients together in a large bowl until well combined. Then add the tablespoons of solid coconut oil, and cut them in with a pastry blender or just a fork. You can even use your hands as long as you don’t melt the fat overmuch. What you want is a sort of damp-sandlike mixture with globules of fat here and there that are no larger than a small pea.

Add the apple cider vinegar to the milk to make vegan “buttermilk.” Have a lightly floured surface waiting and ready when you hollow out a well in the center of the dry mixture, and add the flax “egg” and “buttermilk” to the well. Start folding everything together with a small spatula or wooden spoon as you add the currants, and mix only until the flour and liquid have come together as a somewhat sticky dough. You don’t want to overwork it at all. Form the dough into a ball with your hands and lay it on the floured surface, pressing or rolling it into a round that’s 1″ thick and about 8″ in diameter. Cut the round into eighths, pizza-style (in the UK they’ll cut biscuit rounds with a cutter, but this method won’t waste/overwork a scrap) and transfer the pieces with a spatula to an ungreased baking sheet. Bake at 425 for 20-25 minutes or until the scones are starting to brown and your kitchen smells like a bakery. These are pUre bARRy served still warm.**

*The coconut oil you use really does make a difference. I used Dr. Bronner’s and it resulted in the richest, butteriest, most delicately flavorful scones ever…not even vegan butter tasted so good! The difference between this stuff and the average store-brand refined oils simply cannot be overstated. Go with cold/expeller pressed at least, if you can’t find anything but whole kernel. The one drawback is that your scones will taste like MORE and you’ll find it difficult to stop at one, or even two.

**I made some cashew “clotted” cream to serve with them by doubling the Cream Your Cashews recipe, minus the salt, using lemon, and not doubling the water. Then I just blended in about a tablespoon of maple syrup at the end and let it chill. If you use refined powdered sugar in your baking, using it instead may achieve a look and taste closer to the genuine article; I prefer to stick with the cruder stuff. Be advised maple syrup adds a slight tint, however.

One Comment Add yours

  1. Madame le P. says:

    No one:
    Me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHhK0R7TX1I
    You’re welcome

    Like

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